My Father

When I was growing up, my parents use to fight all the time and my dad would hit my mom. I think the main issue in the situation was that they were both alcoholics. My mom got married when she was 16 to my dad..had my sister later that year and me 2 years later…then they divorced when I was 3. I’m not really sure how I remember certain things but I remember them fighting…so don’t ever think your young kids don’t understand when they are that young. Anyway, after my parents were divorced, my sister and I would only see my dad every other weekend when we went to visit my granny, dads mom. My mom ended up marrying my dads old best friend and she got even more involved with bad things like drugs. My dad didn’t pay child support. I’m not sure whether or not it was because mom did drugs or he just didn’t want to pay…probably the later because he got involved in drugs too. He’s always been a slacker when it comes to work. He is very good at wood refinishing. He can make a table that’s been broken right slap in to, look like it was never broken….but he couldn’t make it to the work half the time. When he actually did make it, he would drink while he was there. Maybe that made him work better, or maybe that was just part of him being an alcoholic. Anyway, because my dad didn’t pay child support, he eventually got put in jail. I remember going on Saturday mornings to see him in a local jail with granny and my sister. When ever I was old enough to drive, and he had just gotten out of jail (he was in there on and off my whole childhood because of child support), I remember him calling me…not to talk to ME…but to get my moms number….Then told me he loves me and I need to call him sometime….Another time he called and asked me to take him to get beer in Tennessee because Georgia didn’t sell on Sundays. These are the memories I have of my dad. He wasn’t mean by any means, but it was like he really wasn’t my dad. I’ll be 28 this year. My older sister had a baby that will be 1 in about a month….and my dad has now decided he wants to be a part of our lives. He calls my older sister every so often and she calls him too. He has actually become sober…no more booze or drugs….but he is in extremely bad health. (Liver and kidney problems). My sister seems to be getting closer to him now, but for some reason, I can’t. I love him but it’s like I’m apathetic about calling him or getting close to him…but the thought of something happening to him makes me upset. Like for instance, my boyfriend and I are having a 4th of July party this year and I text and invited him to come. His response was…”I’ll try baby, that’s still a ways off. A lot can happen between now and then.”…and that text just tore me up because he’s been really sick and I felt like he was saying he don’t know if he will even be here then. I cried for a couple hours at work. I bet everyone thought I was a hot mess! Anyway, I don’t know how to handle my situation. I feel like I need to be closer to him but it’s like I can’t. My mind just won’t let me.


About Crazy A...

I'm a rambler. I like to talk about random, beauty, music, etc.
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3 Responses to My Father

  1. Heartrending in many ways. You seem to have come out of a difficult childhood admirably balanced

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